Monday, April 24, 2006

Supernatural sci-fi from way beyond the grave.

Tales from the files of a demon
detective doing business in Hell.


Pinky Cohoba.

PINKY COHOBA, THE DEMON DETECTIVE, operates out of an office above a nightclub in New Hades, the greatest city in Hell, population one hundred million or so demons. Not including endless fresh afterlifers, who pour in constantly from the mortal universe in their spunky new bodies. But they get dispersed all over Hell after they transform into demons. However, more about this thoroughly traumatic but extremely interesting process later.

OVER FOUR CENTURIES IN HELL.
Pinky
Cohoba has been in Hell now for four hundred and thirty-eight years. Pinky has always played hard and dangerous, especially on his sax. He's got an uncanny resemblance to Ernest Borgnine, a wacky sense of humour and a strong affection for all shades of pink. Not to mention enhanced abilities with plastic explosives, stormguns, martinis and daiquiris. Needless to say, Pinky and Amos Itzgrae, his detective buddy, have racked up some hellraising adventures in the Infernal Realm. Mainly because most of the time they end up with the cases Hell's cops, the mighty Avenging Angels, won't touch with a pitchfork.

Amos Itzgrae.

AMOS ITZGRAE, BABE MAGNET, has been in Hell for over one thousand years. He was previously an undercover agent with the Avenging Angels but he got sacked after Bright Solaris, his Avenging Angel boss, was framed for conspiring with Big Lucy, aka the Prince of Darkness, Father of Lies, etc. Amos owns the Zanzibar club and Hot Bods, a battle-limo body shop he inherited after a game of Russian roulette. Unfortunately, both businesses are hardly making a brass razoo, so the detective agency is really the only thing keeping the werewolves from his jugular.

HELL'S COPS.
Volunteers for one of the toughest jobs in Creation, Avenging Angels have eyes like fire and skin like glowing jewels. Contrary to most beliefs, angels don’t have wings but AA's can still fly like F18's and in stark contrast to Hell’s trigger happy citizens, have no use for weapons. Because the things Avenging Angels can do with their telekinetic minds makes them plenty lethal enough.

LAWYERS.
Another bizarre thing about Hell is the way the damned actually have some rights, with demon lawyers thick on the ground to defend them. Indeed, most of the big legal firms on Earth have thriving hereafter operations. One prestigious London outfit actually enjoying direct access to its partners in New Hades, via a porcelain portal in the chairman’s luxury private bathroom.


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